Welcome! Glad you could join us here in my little corner of the internet where I share the random musings that evolve from my life as a tall blonde rock and roll fan who just happens to have experienced working in self-development, two marriages, motherhood, and the world of addiction recovery.

My wish is that the words written here will stir your thoughts, make you smile, offer hope and remind you that you are never alone. We're all in this together.

If you're looking for "The Ones Who Stayed", it's just moved to it's own site, just click here.

Please feel free to share your own "soul ramblings" in the comments section.

With love,

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Share Your 'Deal Breaker'

Hello gang,

I know, I know, this page hasn't seen much action in a while.  As many of you know, I've been immersed in recovery from a major health issue for quite some time. While there remain some challenges, for all intents and purposes, I'm back at it.

SO, as the title of this blog suggests, my soul does a good bit of 'rambling' and I've got a question for you: What was your 'deal breaker' in ending a romantic relationship and/or friendship?

NOW, I'm not referring to situations of violence, domestic abuse, religious differences, family dysfunction or long-term relationships that have just run their course.  I mean those red flags that immediately make you stop and say, "Oh HELL no.  I can't be around this person."

I'll give you some personal examples:

Case #1

On a first date, the guy in question came to my apartment to pick me up. He asked to use the bathroom, did so, and then didn't flush.  There was no second date.

Case #2 

I had been dating a guy for a little while who, while good looking and fun to be around, was not my intellectual equal.  I had been having that inner discussion with myself about whether to end it, because I knew it could never be a long term thing, or to just try to enjoy the fun a while longer.

We were watching the movie The Fly (the Jeff Goldblum-Geena Davis iteration from the 1980s). During the sequence in which Jeff Goldblum's scientist character is transforming into a giant insect, dude leans over to me to explain what is happening and says, "You know what that is? That's metamorphis."

I said, "Metamorphosis."

"The WORD is 'metamorphis'. You're saying it wrong," He said, in a tone implying I was a complete idiot.

It that moment, the inner discussion was over and 'end it' had won.

Case #3  (Example courtesy of a close male friend) 

I took this girl to dinner and in the course of conversation my workplace was mentioned.  

The next day she showed up at my office and told every woman who entered the building to stay away from me because we were engaged. I called security...and changed my phone number.

It is in the spirit of these cringe-worthy examples that I ask you, dear readers, to share your deal breakers in the comments. You may, of course, remain anonymous.

Will these end up in a book I might be working on? Maybe...maybe not...but rest assured, if they do, anonymity will be the order of the day.

Fire away my friends, there is no judgment allowed in the Soul Ramblings realm, share at will!